I apologize for my absence this last month; while in preparation for finals and the holidays the matriarch of my family had traumatic complications from a routine surgery. This came as a shock to a family lucky enough to not have many health concerns; I bring this up not to offer excuses or ask for sympathy but to ask the big wide web about caretakers guilt and well being. Many of you reading this have or take care of someone with chronic health issues; these are obstacles that are quite daunting and traumatizing to the person and families they affect. In my experience as a new "continual caretaker" (phrase I termed because its a 24 hour potion) I have felt an immense stress placed on my mind in the form of guilt for not being attentive enough, not being fast enough, and not being as supportive as I need to be. Do fellow caretakers feel the same? And can that be changed? As the person with epilepsy how do you feel about being taken care of? Is it demeaning to be taken care of? And does tough love work or does it just come off tough and not loving? I'm still trying to find the balance between what will encourage and what will dishearten my grandmother in her journey back to health.
And yet as the end of 2013 draws near I am reminded of how insignificant the years challenges seem in retrospect. Not to belittle some of the trails the year has brought on, but to see them all clumped together in a yearly context, they don't seem as daunting. And so I ask all of you who suffer form or care for someone who suffers form epilepsy to take stock in knowing that while your struggle may seem, at the time tremendous, will be but a mere blip in the grand scheme of life. There is love and opportunity that is afforded to us all; these will be the things remembered! Not the sick days and hospital stays but the laughs and good times spent!
